she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I didn't notice because vodka
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
