He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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