Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
