im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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