Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
