that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
