Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
oh god the rape fog is back!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
where am i from again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
