Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
