Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like a drive thru vagina
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
