Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize