my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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