my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
