Someone shit on the floor
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
