There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
