She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
