I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
