remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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