Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That accounts for only three of the penises
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
