if only i could text you this smell
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
