Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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