I cockslap morals
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
