it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
