Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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