Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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