He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
