i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
