Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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