Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  if i can run in heels then i can drive

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  (303): if i can run in heels then i can drive http://tfl.nu/rtwg
  Replies (11) Good night (1345) Bad night (522)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?

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  (609): so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/3dvn
  Replies (18) Good night (3096) Bad night (643)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking

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  (973): i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking http://tfl.nu/emks
  Replies (23) Good night (542) Bad night (2495)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?

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  (512): I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing? http://tfl.nu/nzdd
  Replies (7) Good night (8672) Bad night (789)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight

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  (770): just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight http://tfl.nu/b8vr
  Replies (38) Good night (4591) Bad night (1535)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.

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  (406): That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/1hw4
  Replies (4) Good night (3082) Bad night (937)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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  (360): Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning. http://tfl.nu/92kl
  Replies (18) Good night (2906) Bad night (824)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude

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  (907): I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude http://tfl.nu/0pzh
  Replies (9) Good night (2364) Bad night (718)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

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  (361): Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again. http://tfl.nu/uwik
  Replies (4) Good night (1418) Bad night (639)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.

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  (435): I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry. http://tfl.nu/g6j9
  Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (682)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.

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  (903): Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned. http://tfl.nu/e67l
  Replies (9) Good night (1472) Bad night (874)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So what's going on?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.

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  (630): So what's going on? (1-630): We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid. http://tfl.nu/vkkl
  Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (410)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday

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  (701): You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday http://tfl.nu/l516
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (227)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  On my way

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  (317): it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone. (1-317): On my way http://tfl.nu/kjt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1144) Bad night (318)
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  (408): View more from California

  Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.

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  (408): Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring. http://tfl.nu/7yo3
  Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (372)

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