sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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