Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.

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  (816): if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin. http://tfl.nu/cu5c
  Replies (83) Good night (4762) Bad night (809)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house

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  (218): Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house http://tfl.nu/lsbu
  Replies (17) Good night (4998) Bad night (920)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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  (413): You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/uoqp
  Replies (49) Good night (1505) Bad night (5135)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back

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  (+44): I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back http://tfl.nu/kyt1
  Replies (182) Good night (21872) Bad night (1202)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod

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  (859): i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod http://tfl.nu/ur38
  Replies (11) Good night (5692) Bad night (950)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?

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  (540): My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project? http://tfl.nu/mcoi
  Replies (11) Good night (3423) Bad night (1160)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"

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  (850): Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere" http://tfl.nu/ju0a
  Replies (9) Good night (3559) Bad night (1050)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?

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  (717): Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast? http://tfl.nu/62uv
  Replies (16) Good night (1798) Bad night (832)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.

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  (803): I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me. http://tfl.nu/en2s
  Replies (2) Good night (1407) Bad night (496)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.

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  (703): I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING. http://tfl.nu/0loh
  Replies (3) Good night (1130) Bad night (607)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?

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  (512): did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz? http://tfl.nu/l1f0
  Replies (5) Good night (862) Bad night (514)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

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  (775): If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs. http://tfl.nu/o8sz
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (345)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky

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  (201): No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky http://tfl.nu/xyer
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (429)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  So like, boobs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  are you really going to start every conversation like that?

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  (616): So like, boobs. (1-616): are you really going to start every conversation like that? http://tfl.nu/4tw0
  Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (316)
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  (518): View more from New York

  ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens

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  (518): ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens http://tfl.nu/m288
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (184)

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