Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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