Don't make out with my wife yet
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
