yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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