My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
