I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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