Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
