Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
