At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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