Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
