she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
True strength comes from lack of pants
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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