eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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