Porn is love you can see.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
