I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
