office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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