I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
