I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i came on her dog
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
