Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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