State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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