Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
