new low.... made out with someone while peeing
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
