I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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