Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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