farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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