It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
