So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Your cock deserves a montage
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize