Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
