He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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