Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
