i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
