I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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