so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
