god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize