Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
