All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I want to have your abortion
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
