puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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